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See this example. For enabling button use MF_ENABLED instead of MF_GRAYED.

procedure TForm1.Button1Click(Sender: TObject);
var
  Flag: UINT;
  AppSysMenu: THandle;
begin
  AppSysMenu:=GetSystemMenu(Handle,False);
  Flag:=MF_GRAYED;
  EnableMenuItem(AppSysMenu,SC_CLOSE,MF_BYCOMMAND or Flag);
end;

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